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The Smoking Tongue

November 28, 2005

Day 130: Bee Sting Mango

Full name: "Half Moon Bay Trading Company Bee Sting Mango Passion Pepper Sauce"

On a whim, I went back to the little import store where I found the first Bee Sting sauce. I was completely surprised to find this very last bottle hiding behind all the other Bee Stings. The labels looked the same from afar, but upon close inspection I could see color differences in the font.

Today is Black Friday, so all the women are out shopping their hearts out. I weaseled my way into getting a few of the guys to eat lunch at the China Buffet. This way I could finally try out this sweet honey sauce. (I'm starting to realize that this is becoming a problem. My girlfriend has commented more than once that my lunches, and sometimes whole days, revolve around what kind of hot sauce I'm trying to finish that day)

Ulterior motives aside, the sauce went really well with the cuisine. In fact, it went much better than even the Dragon Sauce I used last time.

The flavor is sweet, and pretty mute. It simply added to the heavy sauces the restaurant was already using, instead of conflicting with them.

The smell, however, is amazing. It smells like my mom's spice rack. Sweet, sweet memories.

This fruity delight is a tribute to love... of world cuisine, vibrant latino culture and of course the human bond! Succulent tropical fruit melds with the fresh "killer bee" honey to create a sweet-hot sensation in your mouth. For kicks & hot licks, try it on anything you'd use syrups, glazes or jellies on (except sensitive areas of the skin or eyes silly)."

Wow, if that isn't a ringing endorsement to start your own company....

Bottoms up!
Wow! (Not the good kind of wow)
Wow, this was really mute! I'm surprised I enjoyed this during lunch so much. The flavor certainly starts out good, but then it just disappears. I've licked, and relicked the remaining sauce from the shot glass, hoping to pick up more. There's just nothing there.

This shit isn't hot sauce! I appreciate chefs trying out different things, but this crap has got to stop. Just because you can mash two different vegetables together, doesn't mean you have to slap a label on a bottle and start selling it as hot sauce! Ketchup is made from tomatoes and sugar mashed together. They're not selling it in a 5 ounce, 5 dollar glass bottle and calling it "Termater Pepper Sauce" !!

Tomorrow: Paisanito's Chipotle Sauce

Topics: ,

37 Comments:

  • Happy New year, Smoking Tongue !

    :P

    By Blogger Joel, at 1:57 PM, January 03, 2006  

  • So you're saying this is not hot? I wonder how that tastes, mango and peppers? And what does passion have to do with the taste? Don't tell me there's passion fruit in there?

    By Blogger Linguist-in-Waiting, at 3:10 PM, January 03, 2006  

  • THIS BLOG MUST BE DONE...

    "This will not do...(call the schoolmaster!!!) - P. Floyd

    By Anonymous Anonymous, at 2:12 PM, January 06, 2006  

  • Do you still blog? I'm interested to see new posts! :-)

    By Blogger Persephone, at 5:46 PM, January 22, 2006  

  • I hope it didn't happen....DEATH BY HOT SAUCE -on his tombstone...see Day 47

    By Anonymous Anonymous, at 8:53 PM, January 22, 2006  

  • Oh, man. We've lost him. Well, it was a good run of hot sauces, but I hope nothing horrible has happened to warrant the abandonment of the site. ST, we hardly knew ye.

    tottinge

    By Anonymous Anonymous, at 3:30 PM, January 28, 2006  

  • Very good site!

    By Blogger Mike, at 4:23 PM, January 28, 2006  

  • Nice site! The writers of ZardozZ News & Satire and the ZZ OpenWeb Portal search for interesting feed content and we came across your site today. We would like to invite you to add your site's url to the ZZ OpenRing blogring as your material appears interesting and aligned with our readership. If you are interested you can find further information at the ZZ OpenRing. This is not meant as spam but as an invitation. Hope you'll join us...

    By Blogger ZZ OpenWeb Staff, at 7:28 PM, January 28, 2006  

  • Does anyone have a clue as to what happened to smoking tongue???
    I really liked his blog.

    By Anonymous web_loafer, at 8:40 PM, April 09, 2006  

  • It would be great to see this resumed :P Even if it takes a two year holiday to do so.

    By Anonymous Anonymous, at 1:42 AM, April 15, 2006  

  • i keep coming back here hoping that you have posted...oh well...i am sure i will check back later. :)

    By Anonymous Lu, at 6:15 AM, August 02, 2006  

  • As a recent discover-er of this blog, I'm completely depressed that smoking tongue appears to have died or something.

    Where are you? Continue, PLEASE!!!

    At least revisit with a wrap-up. Some concluding remarks.

    Sigh.....

    By Anonymous Anonymous, at 12:31 PM, February 26, 2007  

  • Are you just downing shots of this crap, or what. You must shit fire. Live it up.

    By Blogger 2drunk2shift, at 1:10 AM, October 16, 2007  

  • It's May 2008, please check in!! We miss you!

    By Anonymous Anonymous, at 8:19 PM, May 21, 2008  

  • Where are you?
    Did the hot sauce kill you??

    By Anonymous Anonymous, at 10:20 PM, August 05, 2008  

  • death by hotsauce :( its a sad day.

    By Anonymous Anonymous, at 7:19 AM, November 26, 2008  

  • Chantix, the medicine manufactured by Pfizer Incl. is meant for triggering off smoking cessation and as it is an FDA approved quit smoking medicine, you can administer the anti-smoking drug without any hesitation and successfully get rid of nicotine addiction. However, significant chantix tidbits available at http://www.chantixmagic.com clarify that the medicine is meant to be taken only after getting hold of a Chantix prescription from the doctor.

    By Blogger adelen, at 2:35 AM, December 03, 2008  

  • There is now a new quit smoking drug available in the market. This latest breakthrough is known as Chantix. It is able to help smokers snub out their addiction by working on the brain.

    By Blogger adelen, at 8:39 PM, December 11, 2008  

  • Hey man your blog said, "Tomorrow: Paisanito's Chipotle Sauce".

    But tomorrow never came. No conclusion? No explanation? I almost never read blogs, but I like this one. Maybe you could start it up again, but don't force yourself to drink a whole bottle every day! You could post once a week! Well, I suppose sometimes people just move on.

    By Blogger Joel Lucas, at 4:32 PM, December 13, 2008  

  • Come back, Smoking Tongue!

    I just recently found this blog.. and I don't read blogs. This is awesome!

    By Anonymous Anonymous, at 3:04 AM, March 08, 2009  

  • hello... hapi blogging... have a nice day! just visiting here....

    By Blogger Hapi, at 7:30 AM, March 21, 2009  

  • Download Forum Poster V3 3.0 at FileAfro.com

    http://www.fileafro.com/view_forum-poster-v3-30.html

    By Blogger File, at 8:00 AM, March 21, 2009  

  • hello... you may submit this blog to my webBlog Directory, keyworddir.info.. have a nice day!

    Keyword Directory

    By Blogger Keyword, at 10:00 PM, March 21, 2009  

  • By Blogger natasha, at 1:00 PM, March 24, 2009  

  • Found you blog today and decided to read the whole darn thing (and yes i do mean ALL of it).
    I gota say I really liked it. You really know how to write so it gets interesting.
    Rather sad to see you decided to stop, but oh well that is life..

    Anyway best wishes and a great life

    By Anonymous Mir, at 5:44 PM, April 10, 2009  

  • I just read the WHOLE blog too and I really wouldn't be surprised if this dude had a heart attack or some other very serious health problem or even died. How much sodium did he consume with all the vinegar hot sauce combined with his HORRIBLE diet? I really enjoyed your blog and I hope your okay, but you really need to make some changes.

    Pizza, Macaroni & Cheese, all you can eat fried fish, spaghetti, pasties, 'Chinese' Buffet, American Tacos, sloppy joes, french fries, potato salad, macaroni salad, Hot Dogs, stromboli and tons of other garbage every single day. I almost forgot about his breakfasts! How many eggs do you eat a week?!? Potato is the only vegetable he seemed to eat and it had to be fried of course.

    By Blogger Christopher, at 8:00 AM, May 08, 2009  

  • By Blogger indavao, at 4:35 PM, July 15, 2009  

  • hi.. just dropping by here... have a nice day! http://kantahanan.blogspot.com/

    By Blogger tagskie, at 7:30 PM, July 24, 2009  

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    By Anonymous Hot Sauce, at 8:51 AM, August 10, 2009  

  • Hi... Looking ways to market your blog? try this: http://bit.ly/instantvisitors

    By Blogger JanuskieZ, at 1:30 AM, August 28, 2009  

  • Hi I enjoyed your blog! Look at my spam shit now ok?

    I think these "people" would get more clicks if they were honest.

    Anyway, I just found this wonderful journey while searching for Cholula & Tapatio... I was trying to remember the other weaksauce mexican hotsauce that I always forget about (I still dunno what it is. I might just be thinking of plain tabasco or frank's). It's been so long since I've used the vinegary ones that I can't remember them anymore.

    Currently, when I don't make my own fresh habanero salsa, XXX El Yucateco is my favorite sauce of choice; I was delighted when I found this brand—finally, some REAL heat.

    I've tried a lot of XXXSPICYOMGKICKMYASS sauces and was always disappointed. Thanks to you, I know who the contenders are!

    I'm hoping you're well though; as a fellow aficionado who pours the heat on every meal, I'm am deathly afraid of my later years (heartburn, ulcers, all that stuff), when all that heat & salt'll take it's toll. I really do hope you're in good health.

    Thanks for this.

    By Blogger hagure, at 2:52 AM, August 31, 2009  

  • Oh noes! Come back. I just spent 3 days reading every blog entry from the beginning and I fell in love with you and your writing style. You are so damn funny and entertaining. You had so many sauces left to eat. Can't you just pop back in and give us some closure?

    -a fan

    By Anonymous Anonymous, at 12:44 AM, October 05, 2009  

  • Nice story as for me. I'd like to read something more about this theme.
    BTW check the design I've made myself Young escorts

    By Blogger 123 123, at 4:21 AM, November 25, 2009  

  • Reader from London says...

    Let us know you aren't dead, mate!

    By Anonymous Anonymous, at 11:09 PM, July 26, 2010  

  • thanks,this is my site
    http://kaminyoon.blogspot.com/.. be a follower..more wedding ideas!

    By Blogger joven, at 10:30 AM, September 30, 2010  

  • http://loveumuch143.blogspot.com/..learn how to love more deeper...be a follower..thanks..

    By Blogger joven, at 11:01 AM, September 30, 2010  

  • I hope you will share this with your colleagues. It would be interesting to hear what they have to say, too!

    By Anonymous spice smoke, at 3:32 PM, January 17, 2012  

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