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The Smoking Tongue

November 24, 2005

Day 129: Dave's Insanity Jalapeno

Full name: "Dave's Gourmet Hurtin' Jalapeno Hot Sauce"

I guess Hurtin' Jalapeno has a better ring than Jolty Chayote. I'm a little torn between the disclosure of this sauce, or just not giving a shit. On one hand, the main ingredient is chayote pulp, a native Guatemalan vegetable also known as "Vegetable pear" and "Mango squash". That's a far cry from the delicious pepper I drool about called, Jalapeno. On the other hand, it really passed as a Jalapeno sauce when it was on my food.

I guess maybe I would have eaten more broccoli as a kid if my parents simply would have called it green ice cream.

Happy Thanksgiving!

My girlfriend's sister had knee surgery last week, so she came up with the brilliant idea that the "men" would cook Thanksgiving dinner. Didn't bother me, I've done it all before, with success. And you can't go wrong with the classics. It also allows you to make sure that all your favorites are there. For me that could be summed up in one word. Stuffing.

I woke up at 6, made sweet Cajun love to the turkey, and cracked my first beer open by 9 a.m. Definitely a start to a great day.

Once the food was served, I ran upstairs to my suitcase and brought down the 4 hot sauces I was going to use for the next 4 days. Today I chose a jalapeno sauce. I already had great success with green chiles in Stove Top Stuffing before, and I thought it might also go weirdly well with the turkey.

After we said grace, I threw caution to the wind and poured half the bottle over the whole plate. I was so hungry, I didn't want to stop and shake more out later. It was a dark, off-green color. Before I even ate my first bite, my girlfriend's dad started laughing out loud and said, "It looks like your plate is covered in goose shit!"

Having raised a few geese on our farm as a kid, I whole-heartedly agreed. Luckily, it didn't taste like any goose poop I had ever eaten.

"So Green, It's Obscene!"

I could barely smell anything from the bottle. Hardly any smell, no aroma. Just a small hint of green chiles, lime, and fruit.

I thought it went well with the meal. Nothing I'd purposely pick again, but the green flavor worked with the turkey, and certainly added a nice juice to the stuffing and potatoes. The first few bites seemed to flood my mouth with heat, but after a while it wasn't a factor, and I finished the bottle in one meal.

Bottoms up!
This didn't taste very good alone. The not-really-jalapeno flavor is too muted. It's hard for me to believe that it falls under the Dave's Insanity label. The world renown label of being absolutely, positively not muted! I guess the only reason I didn't notice the lack of flavor during lunch was because I used a whole bottle. I can't imagine anyone putting a few drops of this sauce on some food and tasting it. To add insult to injury: the heat barely tickled my tongue.

This tasty jalapeno sauce is made with chayote, a Mexican vegetable. Try it on burritos, pastas, chicken, salads and in soups. Enjoy!
Warning! This product may be addictive to those with taste buds, but don't worry, we'll make more."


Hard to claim it as a Jalapeno sauce when jalapenos were listed after leeks, and after coriander. Maybe it's a leek sauce? Squash sauce? Disappointing sauce, for sure.

Tomorrow: Bee Sting Mango Passion Pepper Sauce

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1 Comments:

  • Daves makes one called Daves Ultimate Insanity. It is concentrated habanero. The bottle recommends that you dilute it before use!

    By Anonymous owlhoot, at 10:04 AM, April 01, 2006  

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