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The Smoking Tongue

November 23, 2005

Day 128: Louisiana The Perfect Jalapeno

Full name: "Louisiana The Perfect Jalapeno Hot Sauce One Drop Does It"

I told myself long ago that I would never touch these thin, little, shitty excuses for hot sauces, ever again. And here I am with the full set again. Eating a hot sauce a day has depleted my collection, and my will power. After many months, I was just unable to ignore these 99 cent local purchases.

Tomorrow is Thanksgiving, and today is Shit-I-have-to-work day. I tried to get out early, but it just wasn't working out. Due to all the errands I had yet to run, and all the traveling, I needed something "easy" to eat today as a hot sauce. Matching hot sauces with unknown travel food is a logistics nightmare. So I picked a 3 ounce bottle, and I picked their Jalapeno flavor, since that sucks ass the least.

I lucked out and was able to eat cold, leftover Lasagna for lunch (Is it still lunch when it's 3:30 in the afternoon?) The sauce was dark, murky, and a depressing green color. Just the other day I was complaining about fake food coloring, and now I'm looking at something that really could have used it. Something must be wrong with me.

I guess I only care about the color when it tastes bad. When it tastes good, I never care about the color.

The flavor was like most green vinegar sauces. Tart, too much vinegar, and too runny. It has a green flavor to it, but nothing that any self respecting Jalapeno would be proud of. It's almost like this just came from the water that washed the jalapenos, before the peppers got shipped off to a REAL hot sauce company.

"Mild Flavor!"

Each one of the Louisiana sauces have a sticker at the top that have a different saying. Their main sauce says "Original", and for years I thought that was the company's name! This bottle says, "Mild Flavor", and I have to ask, why bring attention to a bad thing? Mild flavor sums this up nicely. It's so mild, you can barely taste any flavor.

Bottoms up!
Wow, this was tart!
When I got home from work, the first thing I did was pour myself a shot and take a picture. This way I could pack up the camera, and could safely finish the rest of the hot sauce no matter where supper ended up being tonight.

Tomorrow: Dave's Insanity Hurtin' Jalapeno

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