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The Smoking Tongue

November 17, 2005

Day 122: Torchbearer #7 Sultry

Full name: "Torchbearer Sauces Super Fancy #7 Sultry Sauce"

I'm really sort of disappointed. I couldn't tell any difference between this #7 sauce, and the #4 sauce I had yesterday.

With the huge jump in heat I noticed from #1 to #4, I was really expecting another big jump in heat. Instead I found myself checking the label to make sure I wasn't eating another #4.

Despite this, I had one of the best lunches in a long time today. Our chef likes to mimic restaurants sometimes. Today was a new one: Outback Steakhouse Alice Springs Chicken. It has mushrooms, bacon, and a layer of cheese smothered over a grilled chicken. I don't know who Alice is, but she makes a damn fine combination.

I spooned this sauce on top of the chicken, where it hung on without even attempting to run off. Eat bite was a little slice of heaven, although I'm pretty sure the Alice Chicken was doing most of the work.

Number one ingredient in this sauce is Mandarin Oranges. Then the familiar carrots, onions and tomato concentrate found in almost all the Torchbearer sauces.

Let's see what their crazy label says this time:

We heard a tale about a Mr. And Missus with an affinity for #7 said she put it in his coffee for a wake-up call. He put it on her unmentionables for a wake up call, and they both ate it on fried chicken, and tahini with water cress, people say it kept the fire between them, that's just what we heard. "A darn good condiment enhances what you want it to."

Did I read that right? She puts it on her unmentionables? Well, that's a first. As a first hand victim of Hunan Hand, and a second hand victim of having accidentally shared my smoking tongue after a spicy supper, I can attest that no one would do that on purpose. I can still remember the curses my girlfriend screamed out at me.

A spoonful of hot sauce makes the medicine go down.
I have to admit. While eating this massive spoonful, I definitely tasted the extra heat. It wasn't a whole lot hotter, but it was definitely hotter than yesterday's. I'm getting anxious to get into scorching territory.

I'm also hoping that the next sauce in the Torchbearer line won't taste exactly the same. So far, I'd be hard pressed to tell which tomato & orange pasty-paste is which. If they're all going to be the same, why stop at 7 different sauces? Why not make 100? The words on the labels seem to be made from a random word generator, so what the heck.

Tomorrow: El Yucateco Caribbean Hot Sauce



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