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The Smoking Tongue

October 20, 2005

Day 94: Iguana Chipotle

Full name: "Half Moon Bay Trading Co. Smoky Iguana Smoky Jalapeno Chipotle Pepper Sauce"

At first glance of picture on the bottle, I thought there was a defect on the label. However, upon closer inspection I see that it's the Iguana smoking! Ha ha! Smoky Chipotle, of course!

I've had many ups and downs with the Iguana sauces. It seems like they hit and miss. Their deuce sauces are still some of my all time favorites. Unfortunately, today was a big miss. Can't hit the broad side of the barn kind of miss. You throw like a girl kind of miss. Don't piss on my leg and tell me it's raining kind of miss. And in this particular case: Don’t shit in a bottle and call it Chipotle.

This sauce was very bland. When I mixed it into my meals, the sauce seemed to disappear without a trace. For instance, when I put a third of the bottle into my hash browns, I could tell something was added, but couldn't pinpoint any particular flavor, only a slightly smoky aftertaste. The fact that I started jonesing for some ketchup means the hot sauce has failed.

I put some on a turkey sandwich, completely soaking the bread. It tasted so dry, I had to add mustard.

Thanks for nothing, you lazy iguana.

Bottoms Up!
YUCK! Here I was complaining all day that I couldn't really taste the flavor in my food, and now I'm counting my lucky stars that I couldn't. It was really bad. My breath might smell like smoke, but it didn't really taste that way. A little lost for words, but it was a little pasty. Kind of like eating raw dough: It tastes all wrong until you bake it into bread.

This stuff, tasted like raw ingredients. Very, very bad eaten straight.

Tomorrow: Art of Chipotle Smokey Red

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