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The Smoking Tongue

October 15, 2005

Day 88: Chef Han's Louisiana

This was better than the green sauce Chef Han makes. Thank God. I don't think I could stand another day of disappointment like that again so soon. However, this was still a typical red vinegar sauce, except that it was even more watered down & weak.

I thought today I'd go the extra mile and spice up my daily trudge with a little analysis. I took a few pictures while making a sandwich. I don't really put a lot of thought into it, but there is always a rhyme to reason for doing certain things. It all starts when I wake up, and decide what hot sauce to open. Do I have time for to make eggs for breakfast? If so, I should try a difficult sauce to finish (very hot or very big bottles) because I'll have 3 meals instead of two. Am I going out to eat for lunch? Going out for supper? If not, soup will be on the menu and I should stick to vinegar sauces. Out of vinegar sauces? I'll have to be creative.

Chef Han's sauce today was weak and boring, but for some reason I didn't get through very much at lunch. For supper I tried my clam chowder trick, but you can only turn a white soup so red before giving up. I decided to make a sandwich, an old trick to finish the rest of a hot sauce bottle.


Here is: "Smoking Tongue's Sandwich Strategy Guide" to finishing off a hot sauce bottle.

Step One: The Bread
Bread is where the magic happens. It's the single biggest ingredient of our sandwich that will hold and soak up the hot sauce. If you don't hit your quota here, you're not going to get it later.

White bread is the best for vinegar sauces. Although I really enjoy wheat and other flavors, they contrast with the flavor of hot sauces too much. Save those for other condiments. Boring white bread is actually our friend in this case.

Step Two: The Meat
I think any meat could work here. Corned beef and sauerkraut would have been great, but I don't really buy that for home. Today, it's turkey for me. I took this opportunity to unload quite a bit of hot sauce here on this layer. Each layer counts. Don't be shy.

Step Three: The Cheese
This is just for show, just for completion. Cheese won't soak any in, and if it's the last layer, you're only going to put hot sauce next to the hot sauce already put on the top piece of bread.

Lettuce is a big no-no. I love lettuce in my sandwiches, being a big fan of any vegetable. However, it's just an accident waiting to happen. Believe me and my previously ruined shirts. Lettuce is like a sieve. It'll be dripping enough already.


Step Four: Eat
The goal here is to eat the sandwich without dripping too much hot sauce out. Practice will make perfect. Also, it's time to figure out if a 2nd sandwich is needed to finish off the bottle, or if dunking the sandwich into more hot sauce is needed. I opted for another sandwich.

As you can see in the picture, some bleeding occurred where my fingers held onto the sandwich. This is the sign of the perfect maximum capacity.

If you've really done your job right, eating this is going to be like trying to juggle 4 pails of water. You're going to end up hunching 2" above the plate so that you don't spill all over yourself.

Tomorrow: Pure Habanero

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