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The Smoking Tongue

September 29, 2005

Day 73: Chef Han's Jalapeno

"Shake Well"

Shake well, indeed!
So separated, it was about to get a divorce. When I saw this sitting on the shelf at the grocery store, it deserved a picture right then and there! The bottom half of the bottle had the pulp. The top half was a completely see-through green liquid. How embarrassing for Chef Han. When hot sauces separate, it's kind of like being caught with your pants down and forgetting to wear any underwear. This means that more than 1/2 the bottle was pure vinegar. How cheap and lazy can you get?

This was a 6 ounce bottle, and I could barely use it all today. It was hard work. Every time I thought my food was too saturated with the sauce, I dug deep like Rocky, and poured a bit more.

For lunch, I specifically had Clam Chowder so that I could pour it in. Unfortunately, I was sitting with some people at work I usually don't sit with, so it was hard for me to pour 1/2 the bottle in. I only put 1/4th in, and even that amount amazed them. It was embarrassing.

At home, I had some on tuna which I mixed the sauce in with. Not very good.

Then I put some on a ham sandwich. Not very good.

I put the rest of the sauce on some mixed vegetables. Not very good.

I guess supper turned out to be: Not very good.

The sauce was just too tart, too runny. I don't even have to mention that there was no heat.

Bottoms Up!
Fucking Hell. I can't describe it any better than that. This has got to rank up there close to #1 in making a tart face. My face scrunches up, then my whole body just tenses up as I wait for my epileptic fit to be over. You know, the reason I do these "shot" descriptions, is so I can describe the pure FLAVOR of the sauce. Not talk about bodily functions that occur.

Chef Han wins the first "Go Fuck Yourself" award from me.

Tomorrow: Mo Hotta Mo Betta Habanero

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  • Funny, this is our favorite hot sauce ever. So much flavor without the biting heat that many sauces have. For us light-weights who love the green, jalapeno flavor without all the fire, this is perfect. Been buying it nonstop for eight years! :)

    By Blogger ShellRG, at 4:06 AM, May 23, 2017  

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