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The Smoking Tongue

September 15, 2005

Day 58: Pain Is Good - Jamaican

Full Title: Pain Is Good - Jamaican Style Batch #114 Hot Sauce"

This is the last of the three "Pain Is Good" series, nicknamed "Buckwheat". Although I'm still a big fan of their labels and packaging, I didn't even like this last one very well either. It reminded me of a badly done Ketchup & Barbeque mix. The problem is that it was too heavy on the tomato paste. The first ingredient is Habanero peppers, so I can only assume the found the weakest Habs they could find (It's a mild sauce). The 2nd ingredient is tomato paste. Come on, this is suppose to be a hot sauce. Jamaican hot sauce. Since when did they make ketchup down there?

"In the jungles of Jamaica, far from the soft, white beaches and luxury resorts, there's a small shack with a small garden. In the garden, Scotch Bonnet and Habanero peppers are grown."

And tomato plants! Don't forget rows and rows and rows of the red tomatoes. I can't even write out the rest of that blurb, it's too fucking corny, and starts to talk about voodoo and shit. Not to mention beneath it, in bold letters, it says: "MADE IN USA"

D'oh!

Bottoms Up!
Not recommended. Tart, runnier than I thought, and kind of like using a straw in a Heinz bottle.

This sauce does NOT belong on bread. Just the other night I was listening to an online radio station, and the DJ was rambling on about how he loved toast. I mean this freak was talking about the model of this toaster, and the accessories involved! Anyway, he then got into all the things he liked to put on to toast. He made love to some chocolate concoction description, and then started swearing about how ketchup was the antichrist to toast. My ears perked up. I completely agreed! I love eggs. I love ketchup on my eggs. Sometimes I like egg sandwiches. But ketchup does not work on egg sandwiches at all.

Same thing happened when I made my egg sandwich this morning. This sauce sucked on it. Too much like ketchup.

Tomorrow: Cajun Cousin's Swamp Fire

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