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The Smoking Tongue

September 12, 2005

Day 56: D.L. Jardine's Texas Kicker

Full name: "Special Edition D.L. Jardine's Texas Ranch Recipes - Texas Kicker Hot Sauce XX Hot"

This was one of 3 sauces I bought at a mall during Labor Day Weekend. The first sauce I had by D.L. Jardine was much hotter than I expected. This one, however, is a weak one. I knew this when I chose it. However, I didn't know that my coworkers would want to go to a Mexican restaurant for lunch.

Yep, a Mexican restaurant is the best place to tap into a hot hot hot sauce. But instead, I had this wimpy-ass sauce to eat.

I wiped out the whole bottle during lunch, leaving just a small sliver at the bottom to do a shot later that night. I then delved into their "basket o' hot sauces" they have for adventurous diners. Although I've had most of them before, they did have a new one this month that I was grateful to try out: "Pain Is Good Jalapeno Wasabi".

I've had the main 3 Pain is Good sauces before, but never the new line of "Divas" sauces. They're kind of weird flavors, and hard to tell if they count as real hot sauces. It turned out, at least with this sauce, that it tasted really good. So be certain that I'll be reviewing those 3 later on. (A Wasabi hot sauce at a Mexican restaurant? Pigs can fly!)

The lunch was good, we paid, we left. Two hours later, I slapped my forehead, remembering that I forgot my bottle there at the table. I sweated it out for 3 hours, and then drove over to the restaurant as quickly as I could. I walked in, and asked if I could look through their "Hot sauce baskets" to find my bottle. The host asked the name of the bottle, and I told him "J.L. Jardine". He disappeared for 3 minutes, and came back with my bottle!! I was relieved and surprised. All it would have taken was one table asking for that hot sauce basket, and one customer trying it out and finishing it off. Then they would have thrown the empty bottle away.

With great relief, I took the bottle and turned towards the exit. The host caught my attention by asking about the sauce. He had never heard of the brand. Never tasted it. He then asked if he could try it. I said sure! He held out his hand, and wanted me to shake some into his palm. I felt a little dirty doing this in the lobby of a restaurant, but in the interest of science, I did it. He licked his palm and did the little wine swirl with his tongue.

"What is that I'm tasting? I can't place it."

I said it was a "Habanero Carrot" type hot sauce. His eyes lit up and said, "Yes! That's what I'm tasting. Carrots. Interesting".

I know, I'm a genius. But I'm a total numbskull in social skills. This could have been my new best friend, but I just kind of left him there with his wet palm and walked out. It's not like I have business cards printed up that say "The Smoking Tongue" but I could have pointed this hot sauce aficionado to my site. Instead, I think of these things 5 minutes later as my car is barreling out of the parking lot.

Anyway, it was nice meeting you.

Bottoms Up!
Thanks to waiter-guy, I had sauce to drink tonight. Had a bottle to take a picture of! Whew. This is a typical habanero carrot genre, very mild, and rich flavors. If this was a wine, they'd say it had a full, excellent body. Not as hot and tasty as D.L. Jardine's Blazin' Saddle, though. Just a mild introduction to a tasty orange-colored sauce.


Tomorrow: Frontera Red Pepper Sauce

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