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The Smoking Tongue

September 10, 2005

Day 54: Jamaica Hell Fire 4 In 1

Full Title: "Jamaica Hell Fire Hot Pepper Concentrate - 4 in 1 - Triple Red Hot"

This is the much, much, much wimpier version of Doc's Hellfire I had earlier. Actually, this guy could probably stand on it's own, but having a brother that's SO much hotter puts him in a dark shadow.

Dark bright red in color, this sauce smells like it packs a punch. It's chunky and thick as it runs out. However, it's flavor is kind of empty. It's like it's all full of vegetable pulp, but no flavor. I don't know how in the world they accomplished that, but that's what happened. They would do awesome if they wanted to corner the high school lunch foods of America.

By the way, the people that "might" make this sauce at Mrs. Dogs never bothered to email me back. I emailed them a few weeks ago with questions about their killer Doc's Special Hell Fire. Either they don't give a crap about their customers, or their web site is a dead end, or maybe they've packed up and moved yet again. Maybe I used words that were too big, and they didn't understand me. Maybe they're swamped in Florida from the Hurricanes.

Here's what breakfast looks like at The Smoking Table's house:

Potatoes (and in this case, hash browns) suck in hot sauces like a sponge. So, as I ate breakfast, I didn't have any complaints while eating this hot sauce. The hash browns soaked it in, and I was none the wiser. But when I ate supper, and could taste the sauce on top of the grilled chicken, I definitely got to taste it in all it's crappy glory.

Bottoms Up!
Disgusting. Absolutely disgusting. There was very little flavor, and what was there was very revolting. Plus, the texture was terrible. I'm still picking seeds out of my teeth. This sauce is dead to me. Never call me again and ask to borrow money.

Tomorrow: Pure Jalapeno Gourmet Sauce

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