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The Smoking Tongue

August 25, 2005

Day 38: Ditka's Real Hot Sauce

So the weekend is coming up, and you never know when I might find myself back in a Mexican Restaurant doing some chest thumping. I thought it would be a good idea to have the other Ditka sauce NOW, instead of being embarrassed by it at a restaurant.

What can I say about a vinegar sauce that I haven't already said before? It's quite vinegary. Not much heat. I wonder who made this for Ditka Foods? There is no way the "chefs" at Ditka's restaurant sat around talking about which red vinegar sauce recipe they would use, and then go through the trouble of making a sauce that tastes exactly like every other boring red vinegar sauce. Who makes this shit? Is there one huge ass refinery somewhere in America making all these sauces? Is it an alien conspiracy?

For lunch I had roasted chicken, mashed potatoes with green gravy, and corn. I poured some sauce on the corn, pretended it was salt. I poured a bunch of the sauce on the potatoes and mixed it in really good until it was light red. The chicken was much harder, since the sauce is runny. So I finished the corn first, so that I could pour some sauce straight into the empty bowl. Then I dunked each bite of chicken into the bowl of hot sauce to get a decent coating. In this way, I was able to finish 1/2 the bottle during lunch.

Supper was much better. I've had a can of Clam Chowder soup sitting in my cupboard for quite some time, just waiting for this moment. There is nothing better than mixing red vinegar sauce into Clam Chowder! The more the merrier. Make sure it's a disgustingly good shade of red.

Bottoms Up!
I brushed my teeth and crawled into bed last night at about 1 in the morning. Right before I drifted off to sleep, I remembered that I hadn't finished the bottle yet! I dragged myself back out of bed and headed for the kitchen. There's nothing quite so tart as a red vinegar sauce after brushing your teeth. And eating on an empty stomach in the middle of the night. To top it off, this shot glass didn't quite finish it off. There was still some left. With no food available, I had to fill the shot glass back up to half full and finish it off.

MMMMmm! Now that's what I call a midnight snack.

Tomorrow: Spaghetti Western

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