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The Smoking Tongue

August 14, 2005

Day 27: Tahiti Joe's Volcano Ahi

Full name: "Tahiti Joe's Volcano Ahi XHot Sauce"

I've had one other flavor from Tahiti Joe before, and it was amazing. So I've been looking forward to trying another bottle of his some day. Unfortunately this bottle doesn't look half as appetizing. So, much like my childhood of being picked last for Dodgeball, this little nerd gathered quite a layer of dust while his friends got eaten one by one.

He almost got picked last week, but the contents of the bottle had settled in multiple layers, so I put it back down in disgust. Yesterday I finally broke down and said what the hell. I have to eat you some time.

First thing I did was pour the top inch of the pure, clear vinegar out. Then I put the cap back on and mixed it up really well. Unfortunately, it was still quite runny, but hey, maybe it's a runny sauce.

Pouring it into my little bowl was a little messy. It was extremely runny, but had large floating chunks of crap that sort of plopped out of the bottle and made splashes. I basically ended up with a tub of black tar.

I put my finger in it to test the flavor, and was pleased that it was indeed, not tar. It actually had some flavor, and maybe even some heat. At least my fears of getting botulism were put to rest.

I used up most of the bottle just by dunking my brats in them for each bite. The remainder I put over some potato salad, and then into some roasted potatoes. Nothing was left over for supper.

Here's what's on the back of the label:
Explosive Heat!
You tried the Polynesian Hot Sauce and said it wasn't hot enough. Well, here it is... Volcano Ahi (Ahi is Polynesian for FIRE) This is the Extra Hot Version of the Polynesian. You can use and enjoy Volcano Ahi the same way as the Polynesian, just hotter with a great flavor. Tahiti Joe dares you to enjoy this sauce! P.S. Consult a Proctologist before using.

Looks like I need to write Joe and tell him THIS one wasn't hot enough either!

Sorry. I had no idea at the time this picture was taken that it would look so disgusting. Kind of funny that I burned my brat to be the same color as the sauce. What you're seeing in this picture is the au juice bowl AFTER I soaked up most of the runny parts. What is left now is the chunky parts I was talking about. Another interesting point is that the sauce looks pitch black in the bottle, and pitch black when I poured it in the bowl. But we can see in the thinner parts here that it has more of a dark brown color.

The flavor was above average. It reminded me of Caribbean sauces with worcester sauce in it. It wasn't too bad, just not great. There was hardly any heat, and without a distinct pepper flavor, I am hard pressed why you'd want to call it a hot sauce, or why you'd want to buy it. If I had to pick a food it might go well with, I'd say a Philly Cheesesteak.

Here's a few more of the Tahiti Joe Line:

Palm Beach
Tropical Garlic
Ahi of Kahuna XX with Cheese
Kumawanakilya XXX

Tomorrow: CaJohn's Hot Chocolate.

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  • Aloha, This is Tahiti Joe. You got hold of a very old bottle of Volcano Ahi. Going by the picure of the bottle it looks like it was made in 1997. You tried a sause that was 9 years old. please contact me and I'll you a new one to try. For a 9 year old sauce , the review wasn't so bad.

    By Anonymous Anonymous, at 7:43 AM, July 03, 2008  

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