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The Smoking Tongue

August 11, 2005

Day 24: El Yucateco - XXXtra Hot

Full title: "El Yucateco - Salsa Picante de Chile Habanero - XXXTra Hot"

I think that stands for "Heart Burn in a Bottle". Just smelling this sauce will cause your mouth and ass to clamp down. In the shot glass picture below, you can see different colored chunks and lines. I think those are blended stems from the actual chile peppers.

I picked this sauce yesterday because I knew there was a salsa competition at work. The lunch crew sell tacos, and we get to try all the contestants' salsas on them. I think fresh, cool salsa is the perfect thing to complement a really hot sauce like this one.

My first crack at this bottle was with a cold piece of pizza for breakfast. I brought it in to work, sat behind my screen, and as I typed up yesterday's review, I dabbed large amounts of this sauce on each pizza bite. And boy, did it light me up! Honestly, I can't believe this is only rated at 11,600 scovilles. Only 2,000 more than the green El Yucateco I so easily ate last week! I guess numbers don't really matter. This shit is hot.

Although breakfast didn't put much of a dent in finishing the bottle, lunch was another matter. After making a mountain of crumbled up tacos, I took this sauce and turned that mountain into an erupting volcano with green lava. I ate most of the meal in silence, concentrating on mixing everything very well, but occasionally getting pure sauce that caused my eyes to water. Although the room was well air conditioned, I was definitely sweating.

The flavor of this sauce is a little harder for me to pin down due to the heat. However, it is heavy on the chile flavor, smells great, and tastes great. It's really thick sauce, nothing like its green partner from last week. Of course this isn't something you'd really want dribbling down your chin and arms, probably leave burn marks. I have to say that I like the flavor of jalapenos better than the habaneros in this sauce. Other than that, I have no complaints. I LIKE things hot. This is hot. In normal day consumption, however, I just wouldn't eat a whole bottle in a day.

Supper: We went out to eat, and can you believe it, I forgot the bottle in the car!

Bottoms Up!
Oh boy.
I must admit I hesitated in slamming this one down the throat. Looking at that sauce was like staring into an evil cycloptic eye of heat. Patient. Eternally Hot. Does hot sauce have a half life? Maybe I could wait 2000 years before eating it?

I threw it in my mouth and swallowed it down. It was much more pleasant than I thought. I stood there for 30 seconds waiting for the pain, and it never came. I noticed that sauce was so thick, there was still some clinging to the sides of the shot glass. It settled to the bottom, and I drank the rest.

After 2 minutes, the pain finally started building up. And kept building. It was easy to tell the path the sauce took in my mouth. Unlike normal eating, the front half of my tongue was exempt. The shot had been slammed to the back of my mouth, so the base of my tongue, the back of throat, and my tonsils were on fire. It made breathing interesting. After about 2 minutes, the pain peaked, and 3 minutes later the heat was gone. All that was left was a flaming hole in my stomach that I squashed with a bottle of water.

And as much as I hate to admit it, there was no denying it. The trip to the bathroom this morning required a little cold water on the toilet paper to soothe things up down below.
This sauce gave a Flaming-O finale.

Tomorrow: Captain Curt's Electric

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6 Comments:

  • Thanks for visiting my blog. My husband will be thrilled to learn that he has a soul hot sauce mate in St. Louis.

    By Blogger Nytro, at 1:30 PM, August 12, 2005  

  • Dude, the real HOT thing here is the blog itself! It's AWESOME content, entertaining, informative, endearing and totally honest. I also like that you are not selling out, just telling it like it is. I've just read the ENTIRE blog, all posts, and many times I was laughing out loud. The "episode" where you challenge the chef was awesome, I felt for you when the guy supersize you... congratulations! I think to make it perfect, a photo or two of you and your girlfriend eating in a restaurant would round it up, since you two are the heroes here. Does she care to write a post? Perhaps a comment on your "one bottle a day" habit, that would enrich the the thing. You have something going here, why don't you get your own domain name, "tourdesauce" is available as a .com. Register for just $4.98 at Yahoo before someone else does, and host your own blog, you'll be able to put whatever header you want on top.

    My name is Demetrio, and I am from Argentina (no hot food here, everything rather bland, and no variety of hot sauces at all, just a few bottles of chimichurri here and there). People here think that plain black pepper is hot.

    By Anonymous Demetrio, at 12:28 PM, August 13, 2005  

  • I love it! You are a braver man than I. What sauces are you going to try next? Your blog idea is great. Hit me back!

    By Blogger Kristopher, at 8:23 PM, August 13, 2005  

  • I am in awe of this site! Keep it up!

    By Blogger Dan, at 8:38 PM, August 13, 2005  

  • Nytro - We're in good company then!

    Mathetas - What hot sauce is next? All of them, of course!

    Hi Demetrio! No one knows about this blog. Not even my girlfriend. She hasn't even noticed that I'm eating a different bottle every day. I've been eating so many sauces over the years, that it just seems normal to her. Eventually she'll find out. She's sitting behind me right now as I write this. Eventually, I'll hear, "What's that?"

    Until then, I'm free to write what I want.

    I'm really surprised that heat isn't popular in Argentina!! What a travesty.

    By Blogger Smoking Tongue, at 9:46 AM, August 14, 2005  

  • I just ate this one side by side with mezzettas cali habanero...this one definitely has a more intense immediate burn than the cali hab. for sure, but i think the mezzettas long lasting heat is pretty intense, and it builds...the bite that i covered in both sauces was the most serious though i feel like i just went swimming or dropped acid or something im sweating so hard.
    kickass site

    By Anonymous Anonymous, at 1:13 AM, December 09, 2008  

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