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The Smoking Tongue

July 27, 2005

Day 8: Crystal (Extra Hot) Hot Sauce

The hotter & spicier version of Crystal? I had my doubts, but my doubts were set aside with a nice warm tingle through lunch & supper.

Breakfast: A quick & fast egg sandwich. I was so damn late for work, that I poured hot sauce so fast on the sandwich, that I got some on the counter. Then I wolfed it down like a dog finding a bratwurst under the grill.

Lunch, at least, was a more formal affair. I went to that fancy, 4 star restaurant called Subway. A 12" veggie sandwich with lettuce, tomato, onion, green pepper, jalapeno pepper, banana pepper, and hot mustard. I whipped out my book, and started reading. Before each bite I shook the hot sauce over the part of the sandwich I was about to eat and took my bite. Read. Shake. Bite.

The vinegar mixed very well with the vinegar based items already in the sandwich: jalapeno peppers, banana peppers, and the mustard. By the time I was done with the sandwich, I was actually sweating. My mouth was pleasantly buzzing. I was below the 1/2 way mark on the bottle.

For supper my girlfriend and I had stromboli. I put the rest of the hot sauce into a small au juice bowl, and dunked each bite in, soaking up as much as I could. (I certainly wish these sauces were a bit thicker) Much like lunch, my mouth was burning by the time I was finished. Except this time I dribbled hot sauce down my shirt. (OINK!)

I also timed it perfectly to finish the bottle at the last bite.

So a big thumbs up to Crystal Extra Hot Hot Sauce. What they need to do, though, is make THIS their normal hot sauce. Then they can turn around and make an Extra Hot sauce that would be the absolutely perfect heat level. If what I ate today was the "baseline" of all typical vinegar hot sauces, then the world would be a better place. That's right, we need to raise what is considered "average" around here!

Tomorrow: Frank's.



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