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The Smoking Tongue

July 25, 2005

Day 7: Crystal Hot Sauce


Here's another popular hot sauce. I'm pretty sure you can find this hot sauce in most grocery stores, although I don't ever recall seeing one in a restaurant.

This sauce comes in a unique bottle of 6 fluid ounces, not 5. It also comes with a pretty boring label, and much more boring flavor. I'm not sure how Baumer Foods got this guy to be popular enough to be in the top 4 for market share. (Legacy?) But I'm pretty sure if you run across someone that claims Crystal as their favorite hot sauce, the reason is because they like their sauce a little bit weaker. Nothing wrong with that, but this sauce definitely punches less impact in heat, and a lot less tart vinegar flavor.

Since the bottle is a bit bigger, I broke the seal early in the morning. 1 fried egg sandwich later, and 1 fluid ounce lighter, breakfast was over.

For lunch I had a cup of chili. I kept pouring and pouring and pouring Crystal into the chili, attempting to get below half way. Made for a pretty weak chili that tasted like Crystal Hot sauce. Surely, there is a better way to drink a bottle of hot sauce a day?

For supper, I soaked a ham sandwich in this hot sauce, and had a can of mixed vegetables. I like a lot of salt on my veggies, but didn't need to today. Just poured the rest of the sauce over the veggies, and you have all the salt you need. You might not think they go together, but... well, they probably don't. But it worked for me.

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